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.She would never feel happy again if-no-when he left.No one could live with her eccentricities.She was fine now in her own skin, but she was fully aware she was not the “standard” model.She scrubbed her face, looking into her own eyes.She saw him there.Lev.How had he gotten inside of her? For the first time in a long while she was terrified.Not of her kitchen being messed up or that someone else shared her house, but that she was coming to need him.She was meticulous about brushing her teeth, a torture for her as the sensation repelled her, but she also had a thing about teeth and wanted them as immaculate as possible.Each time she brushed her teeth, she remembered her mother brushing and counting, helping her to focus on the numbers and not the sensation.She still counted and that helped to pull her mind away from the terror of falling for Lev—Levi—Hammond.That wasn’t even his real name, not that it mattered to her, but he was shedding his old skin and donning a new one.He could be in her life for a short time and shed her just as fast.Heart pounding, she brushed her hair the one hundred strokes she did every night, counting each one carefully before placing the brush in the exact spot she always put it in.She stepped out of her clothes, her skin sensitive, her breasts aching.Breathing deep to push down the building need, she dragged on a tank and the matching boy shorts, a concession to her femininity.She did like beautiful underwear.She sat on top of the covers, her weighted blanket in reach.She allowed Lev to sleep beneath the covers, acutely aware that he rarely slept with clothes on.She’d become accustomed to giving him a massage at night, telling herself it would help him relax and sleep, but it was really becoming an excuse to trace every muscle in his body until she knew him fairly intimately.Not tonight.She resolutely pulled out a book and opened it, focusing the light on her bedside table onto the pages.She didn’t look up when Lev came in, but she couldn’t help but see him—his energy filled the entire room.In spite of her resolutions, her body stirred to life.He moved like a creature of the jungle.Fluid and strong, he was every inch a man, every inch a predator.He could shed his name but he couldn’t change what was beneath the skin, and it showed in the way he walked.His muscles rippled with strength.His thighs were strong columns and his hips narrow.His shoulders were broad, his chest deep, and he was well-endowed, a fact she couldn’t avoid either.His symmetry appealed to her.She knew the flow of his muscles beneath his skin.She knew the heat he could generate.The silk of his hair, already growing out and a little shaggy, the long lashes and piercing sea blue eyes all combined to set her pulse racing and her blood stirring.He slipped beneath the covers after turning off the overhead light so that there was only her lamp shining on the pages of her book.Rikki remained very still, head pressed against the headrest of the bed while Lev shifted position beneath the covers, turning onto his side and laying his head squarely in her lap.For a moment she couldn’t breathe.She tried to pretend that she could read but it was impossible, and she knew he knew it.“Turn off the light, Rikki,” he said softly.She hesitated a moment, still afraid to move, but there was no point in trying to read when his arm settled around her thighs and his head nuzzled into a better position, his breath warm on her bare thighs.The blankets were between their bodies, but the way he held her was the most intimate thing she’d ever felt in her life.She reached out and touched the lamp, plunging the room into darkness.She could hear her own heart pounding in her ears.Even the sound of the rain didn’t bring her peace.She counted silently, not wanting to move, but afraid she might have to from sheer terror at such closeness.Lev was breathing evenly, but she wasn’t altogether certain he was any more relaxed than she was.She waited in the darkness, but he made no sound and no movement.She realized he was holding himself even more still than she was, awaiting—even expecting—her rejection.She let her breath out and dropped her hand onto his head, stroking gently over his thick hair.“Are you all right, Lev?” she asked, her voice soft and more tender than she wanted it to be.His arm tightened around her thighs.“Sometimes, my childhood is just too close.”They’d spoken of it earlier, when she’d asked him questions he didn’t want to answer.“I didn’t mean to bring up bad memories,” she apologized.“I’ve never told another human being about my life
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