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.On the other hand, she’s got big bouncy tits, she looks like she’d be game, and they say fat lassies are grateful.Rocks and Dazza look at each other, glints forming in their eyes.They answer simultaneously: ‘Aye.’Both of them burst out laughing, knowing it’s true.Rocks snatches a glimpse at the Big Man to see whether he’s letting any light through the curtains, but the miserable prick is still just staring ahead, got this blank, unreadable expression on his coupon, just one from his repertoire of scary faces.Well, fuck him.Going about in a mood the whole time isn’t going to bring Dunnsy back.‘I’d shag a bathroom plughole if there was enough hairs around it,’ Rocks declares.‘I’d shag the hole in the Rangers defence,’ Dazza replies.‘I’d shag the hole in the ozone layer.’‘I’d shag a barber’s floor.’‘I’d shag two caterpillars glued round a hole as long as they were hairy wans.’‘I’d shag Beth Ditto.on her bad week.’‘Too far.’Adnan and Radar are earwigging, on the sniff for some embarrassing admission or merely uncircumspect sexual bravado that they can file away for discussion later.It’s always therapeutic to be able to take the piss out of these people in their absence, especially if you’ve been under their boot-heels, as is an inevitability at some point over the next few days.Throughout this latter part of their discussion, Rocks and Dazza are talking loudly enough to suggest they don’t mind being overheard.It can be a canny call to acknowledge a joke from these guys, especially when it is actually funny, not least because it clarifies that you were ‘laughing with’ rather than ‘laughing at’.Adnan glances back and scores some eye contact from Daniel McIntyre, Dazza to his inner circle.This is a calculated risk.There’s always a chance of eliciting a highly counterproductive ‘What the fuck has it to do with you?’ response, but it’s more likely that he’ll notch a couple of ‘wee Adnan’s all right’ points.Indeed, as it transpires, he moves a little more into credit at one branch of the Bank of Bam, and this established, his eyes alight briefly upon the HQ: Kirk Burns.WARRIOR CLASS: UNDISPUTED BEST FIGHTER.STATUS: FUCKING MENTAL.STRENGTH: HARD AS FUCK.WEAKNESS: NONE DOCUMENTED.Big Kirk seems oblivious to the hilarity, his eyes trained on a fixed spot to the fore like there’s a TV down there.His face is set like stone, a calculating contemplation etched so intently upon it that makes Adnan very relieved not to be its subject, but less comforted as he steals a look down the bus to confirm who is.His reticle gets a lock on Matt Wilson, sitting alone in a double seat one row behind the teachers, who are under the impression that they are protecting him.WARRIOR CLASS LONER.STRENGTH INSCRUTABLE.WEAKNESS KNOWN ASSOCIATE OF ROBERT BARKER.STATUS : ENDANGERED.‘Seriously,’ Gillian insists.‘My big sister Tracy heard she gave Dazza a wank at Jason Mitchell’s party after the Halloween disco.’‘Who, Katherine?’ Deborah asks, with an incredulity borne of this sounding too good to be true, as well as an odd little fear that it might be.Katherine Gelaghtly is in sixth year, but she’s resitting French so she’s in Deborah’s class for that.Her wee sister Bernadette is sitting next to Rosemary a few rows in front, with all that that entails, and Katherine has given off every impression of being just as uninterested in the opposite sex; not to mention just as ill-equipped to do anything about it if she was.Yet here was a credible rumour that she’d gone a lot further than Deborah had ever dared, which was almost as dismaying as the implication that she had been invited to one of Jason’s parties - something Deborah had definitely never managed.‘Yeah, Katherine,’ Gillian confirms with a delighted giggle.‘Heard from who, though?’ Julie asks.‘If she heard it from a guy, then the truth is probably that she groped it through his jeans at the most.’‘Tracy says she told her to her face.’‘Mistake!’ observes Yvonne.‘Wow,’ says Julie.‘And you know what that means.’‘What?’‘Well, by the same token, if she admitted to a wank, it might even have been a blow-job.’‘How come nobody’s heard about this from the guy’s side?’ Yvonne demands, sounding like she is also surprisingly eager to debunk it, and not in defence of Katherine’s virtue either.‘Getting a wank off Katherine Gelaghtly maybe isn’t something you’d want to boast about,’ Julie suggests with a cackle.‘No, I don’t think that’s it,’ Gillian responds.‘Our Tracy says your man Dazza is actually quite mature when it comes to his dealings with girls.Mature enough to know not to burn his boats by blabbing, anyway.I mean, it’s not the same as if somebody was daft enough to give a wank to a clown like Beansy or Deso.They’d tell everybody.’‘Beansy would take an advert out in the Evening Times,’ says Julie.‘Only if he couldn’t raise the funds to hire one of those airship efforts,’ adds Gillian.‘How far do you think Bernadette’s gone, then?’ Yvonne asks.‘Maybe the God-squad bit is just a really sneaky camouflage for being a cock maniac.’‘Jesus, so how much of a slut would that make Rosemary?’ asks Gillian.They all crease up.Deborah laughs too, but she can see it getting daft now, and she wants to head that off.It’s more of a thrill when it’s a realistic appraisal, especially when it serves as a conduit for rumour, substantiated or not.She stretches in her seat, hands up in the air, and rolls her head around her neck, using it as an excuse to look about and remind herself of the field.She spots her top candidate right away - kicking herself that she needed a reminder, in fact - but completes the stretch for cover.‘What about Marianne?’ she suggests.‘How far do you think she’s gone?’‘Marianne?’ asks Julie
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