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.I began to talkabout my father s death for the first time with someone who would not judge.AsI see a couple of my friends pregnant and with children right now, and anotherfriend living with AIDS, I realized I was headed in the same direction.Throughmy talks with Julie every week, she helped me realize that I love myself morethan that, and I am a stronger person than I look at myself as.Now, I look back,and I realize that I probably would not be alive today if I had not taken Jeff sclass.Through his empathic approach to teaching, I wrote about my personalexperiences for the first time, and I talked to Julie about my life for the first time.In my other classes, I was forced to remember equations and the biology of thehuman brain.However, in Jeff s class I was taught how to become a better writerby writing about personal experiences.It was as if the class was therapy for me.Perhaps it served the same purpose for my classmates as well, but I am glad it did.As I began reading Empathic Teaching, I understood exactly what Jeff wastalking about on each page.He discussed the way his students learned the basicsof writing, and how in doing so, that is the first step in becoming a great writer.Jeff taught us this idea, and it was proven in my advancement of the grades I hadreceived on my papers.The first paper was filled with red marks and commentson each page, and I got a B on it.By the sixth paper, I found very few correctionsand more positive comments.I got an A on that paper.Although I was taught tobecome a better writer, I was also taught indirectly (through Julie) that I was abetter person than I thought I was.Jeff s approach to empathic teaching, in away, saved my life.In reading Empathic Teaching, I had a clear understanding of his way ofteaching.If I had read this book without taking his class, I would not have gottenas much out of it because I would not have had a firsthand account of histeaching.I may have gotten bored in reading the book because I would not havebeen interested in why Jeff taught me the way he did.I thoroughly enjoyed thisbook, for his teaching may have saved my life.Maybe we just need that extravoice forcing us to talk about our lives once in awhile.I do not feel like enoughpeople talk about their lives because they do not believe it will do anything.Thereality is that we all have issues.What we do with them, and how we handle theunfortunate events that take place in our lives is what makes each of us thepeople we are.It is gratifying to hear that one s teaching has saved a student s life, buthow does one respond to such high praise? How does a teacher know whensuch testimony is true or exaggerated? Many teachers want to make a differ- 252 Appendix Bence in their students lives, and some may acknowledge that students havemade a difference in their own lives, but it is not pedagogically correct toadmit the desire to save students though teachers will probably feel com-fortable in expressing the desire to improve the world or, if they are ecologi-cally oriented, to save the planet.Yet why shouldn t teachers strive to helpstudents conquer their fears and, in the process, save their lives? DonaldMurray s observation is relevant here: Donald Barthelme told us to writeabout what you re most afraid of. When I do, I survive the terrors that silenceme.While writing, the dark clouds rise, the monster shadows retreat.GrahamGreene explains, Writing is a form of therapy; sometimes I wonder how allthose who do not write, compose or paint can manage to escape the madness,the melancholia, the panic fear which is inherent in the human condition.Writing is my therapy (56).Was Breanna projecting onto me the fantasy of being Superman, theword she used to describe how she had once viewed her father? If so, she mayhave rendered me into an idealized father figure, and idealization is, by defini-tion, a distortion of the truth.Her perception of me may have been influencedby transference, a phenomenon that exists not only in psychotherapy but ineducation as well.An element of unreality inheres in transference relation-ships, when patients (or students) project onto analysts (or teachers) feelingsthat arise from significant others in their lives, such as parents.I should pointout, moreover, that her comments appear on the final exam; she may thus betelling her teacher what he wants to hear or at least what she thinks hewants to hear.Is she offering praise or flattery? Flattery is strategic praise,praise with a purpose, Richard Stengel declares
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