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.Unfortunately, my cheeks had other plans.I felt them growing warm, advertising a nice shade of pink.Great.“Here,” he said breezily, handing me three CDs.“Thanks.” I smiled, hoping my face wasn’t as pink as it felt.“I better go.Maybe I can get these on my iPod before we leave.”He nodded and then held my eyes with a steady expression.“Kick its ass, Taylor,” he told me.Blinking away tears that instantly wanted to emerge at his words, I hesitantly closed the space between us and hugged him.“I will,” I whispered before separating myself from him again.“Bye, stranger.” I turned and left him where he stood.He didn’t move.I departed with him watching me until I quietly opened my door and slipped inside.My parents were upstairs when I came inside, and I was able to sneak back into my room.They must have been letting me sleep in as long as possible.Otherwise, they would have been freaking out if they had found that I had not been in my room—or in the house.Once I was in my room, fatigue finally hit me.Convenient.Instead of crawling under the covers like I was tempted to do, I went to my desk and powered on my laptop.I opened iTunes to add the CDs to my music collection.I inserted the first self-titled Three Days Grace CD and waited for all of the songs to rip.While I waited, I thought about my night—well, technically my morning.It hadn’t been like any other experience I’d had before.It hadn’t been planned and it had been one of the best nights I had ever had.Maybe the best experiences couldn’t be planned they just have to happen.Kyle made me feel relaxed, and I had easily been distracted from my problem.Since my diagnosis, he had been the only person able to make me feel like that.I’d only known him for a few days, but I knew I was going to miss him.For some reason, I was drawn to him.Maybe it was because I didn’t know very much about him.Mysteries tended to hold interest.The computer dinged, indicating that the CD was done ripping.I ejected it and inserted the next CD, titled One X.My door opened and my mom peeked her head in.Seeing that I was awake, she opened it the rest of the way.“You’re awake,” she said, surprised.“Yeah,” I replied, looking at her.Her forehead crinkled.“Did you sleep? You look tired.”“Not really,” I shrugged.She nodded in understanding.She looked like she hadn’t slept either.“We should leave in fifteen to twenty minutes,” she informed me.“Okay.I’ll be ready,” I ensured her as the computer dinged again.I inserted the last CD, Life Starts Now, as she watched me curiously.I answered her silent question.“I’m adding music.Kyle burned me a few CDs.”Luckily she didn’t ask when I’d gotten these CDs.She nodded again as sadness filled her eyes, and she left my room.I exhaled a breath I hadn’t realized I had been holding, probably for the strained, sad conversation and waiting to be busted for being out all night.Once the last CD finished ripping, I plugged in my iPod and put the new music on it, fully intending to get lost in it on the way to the hospital.I had already packed a bag.Adding my iPod and iPhone charger to it, I was ready to go.I took my room in one last time, knowing that it could be the last time I saw it.Posters and quotes graced the pink walls.My comforter was pulled down and astray.I didn’t bother making my bed, since I hated making it any other time.At least this way it looked like someone had been here.The room was filled with pictures holding memories, awards, stuffed animals, and various other things.I hoped I would see it all again.I took my bag and closed my bedroom door behind me.I had the urge to run back inside and hide under the covers, but I knew I couldn’t hide from this.It was in my body, not a monster in the closet.No matter where I was or how long I kept my eyes shut, it would still be there, killing me until I got treatment to kill it first.CHAPTER FIVEWe arrived at the hospital a few minutes before eight.My parents checked me in, and I sat down in the waiting room, nervously playing with a pink strand of hair.Sometimes I forgot that I had pink in my hair until I saw it, and each time it made me smile and think of Kyle.It wasn’t long before Dr.Arenstam came out to get me with another woman by her side.She was a slender woman with shoulder-length blond hair and a kind face.Dr.Arenstam smiled warmly at me and introduced her as Nurse Michele.I shook her hand anxiously and did my best to give them both a smile, even though I was too nervous and terrified to form a very good one.They led me into the children’s cancer wing and into a small single-person room.I wasn’t expecting this; I thought I would have to room with someone else.It was a relief to be by myself.I set my bag down by the bed before I retrieved a pair of sweatpants and a loose t-shirt.I didn’t have to wear a hospital gown all of the time since I would be a permanent resident for a while.I would only have to wear one when I had physical exams and such.I slipped into the bathroom and changed, wanting to be comfortable while preparing to face the start of what would be my new life.I dressed and looked at myself in the mirror.I had shadows under my eyes from the lack of sleep.I looked grim and couldn’t bring myself to smile
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